forever

1.
the same way our first breath
is the beginning of our death

i knew the moment i saw you
that you would both resurrect
my heart and shatter it.

2.
i’ve always known too much
i don’t believe in forever
and hope has always been a foreign
language i can’t quite understand

3.
but still

your eyes were kind.

4.
and they looked at me like they
believed in me.

5.
when you wouldn’t let me kiss you
until i let you wash the word
“dread” out of my mouth,
i offered my entire anatomy to you,
said,
do what you want, please,
just don’t leave

please

6.
our first fight was when i had
a panic attack the moment i realized
how much i loved you

7.
our second was when i ridiculously
claimed i loved you more

8.
i don’t believe in forevers

9.
i knew the moment i met you
that i was going to have to
explain to everyone i knew how i
suddenly believe in
love at first sight when i had
been its most vocal
opponent for over two decades

10.
i also knew i would have to lose
you some day

11.
because i don’t believe in forevers

12.
but oh god,

your eyes were so kind

13.
and i couldn’t look away from them

14.
i let myself love you
and
you loved me more than i deserved

15.
i don’t believe in forever
but i don’t care

16.
so if pain has always been our destiny
i promise i will carry both mine and yours
on my shoulders,
i won’t let you feel a thing
please don’t worry
don’t think

just kiss me one more time