I’m Not Sad

I’m not sad
These are just symptoms of withdrawal.

Because eventually, you; my addiction;
Instead of getting me high like you used to
You started to hurt me, badly
And in order to keep my sanity I had to quit you.

I’m not sad
I’m just trying to adjust to a life without my favorite drug.

A drug that drained me of life
All the whilst smiling, holding my hand
But then you let go of my cold, fragile hand
And I’ve been trying to climb out of your hole ever since.

I’m not sad
I just… miss you, that’s all.

But even though I still hate you
With all the hate God’s given me to fairly distribute
I can’t get myself to stop thinking of you
To stop craving you

I’m not sad
I’m trying to survive without my addiction

God knows I have too many,
But you’re the worst, the strongest one of all
You’re Heroin disguised as an innocent cigarette
That I so willingly smoked.

I’m not sad
I’m just missing pieces of my heart!

And I need my puzzle put together again
So I can breathe, so I can feel something other than you
Running through my frigid veins
So I can stop the shivering in my bones.

I’m not sad…
I’m just slowly and gradually going mad.

© Copyright 7ala Abdullah

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2 thoughts on “I’m Not Sad

  1. awh..
    It’s hard to hate a love.. It’s really the worst feeling ever … to have to act strong.. When your heart is crying for remains of that love..

    “Automatic Loveletter – Make Up Smeared Eyes”
    I remembered this song while reading your poem ..

    Once again your words, or should I say art, gets me down with tears… <33

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