“What is it that sinks when the heart does?”
In my case it was faith.
I loved and lost
But then again, everyone has
Sad and angry
Everyone’s got issues
So why is it an issue if it’s the norm?
We’ve all got problems
Yet we all shy away
From telling the truth
Yes, life’s fucked me over
And over and over
Why am I still surprised each
And every single time?
Life is cruel and with every passing day
I realize the extent of its cruelty.
Its harshness and brutality
Its persistence in taking away
Everything that makes me smile
Everything that makes me genuinely happy
On the bright side
But what am I supposed to do
When they turn off the lights there?
What am I supposed to do when everything that was once bright
Turns black and empty?
When every little piece of faith I’ve had
Has tragically vanished
My faith in love
Has been torn to shreds
Sharp and painful little shreds
That I walk on so full of pride.
In the end the full and unabridged truth is that
No one genuinely cares
For anyone else but themselves
It’s a fact that took me years to learn
But I have yet to perfect in terms of physical enacting
It’s an art that you have to get just right
It’s intricate in its rules
Selfishness is a survival technique
A talent, a skill
That I now strive to obtain
I want to be able
To look at someone
Right in the eye and say
“Fuck you, I come first.”
Even when I
And everyone else
Know it’s not true
I wanna be able to act without caring
About the repercussions
The trouble I’d be causing
The pain I’d be inflicting
Just like everyone else in this Godless Earth
This troubled town where the line between
Right and Wrong
Has been drawn so thick and in blood-red ink
Yet the ones who drew it are the ones who cross it
And the ones who cross it are the ones who judge.
I loved and lost
And I lost everything in the process
Including, but not limited to, myself.
© Copyright 7ala Abdullah