Blood-Red

“What is it that sinks when the heart does?”
Hope?
Happiness?
Sanity?
In my case it was faith.

I loved and lost
But then again, everyone has
Everyone’s heartbroken
Scarred
Sad and angry
Everyone’s got issues
So why is it an issue if it’s the norm?
We’ve all got problems
Yet we all shy away
From telling the truth
Yes, life’s fucked me over
And over and over
Why am I still surprised each
And every single time?

Life is cruel and with every passing day
I realize the extent of its cruelty.
Its harshness and brutality
Its unfairness
Its greed
Its persistence in taking away
Everything that makes me smile
Everything that makes me genuinely happy
I’ve tried
Countless times
To look
On the bright side
But what am I supposed to do
When they turn off the lights there?
What am I supposed to do when everything that was once bright
Turns black and empty?
When every little piece of faith I’ve had
Has tragically vanished
My faith in love
Life
Friends
Family
Has been torn to shreds
Sharp and painful little shreds
That I walk on so full of pride.

In the end the full and unabridged truth is that
No one genuinely cares
For anyone else but themselves
It’s a fact that took me years to learn
But I have yet to perfect in terms of physical enacting
It’s an art that you have to get just right
It’s intricate in its rules
And requirements
Selfishness is a survival technique
A talent,  a skill
That I now strive to obtain
I want to be able
To look at someone
Right in the eye and say
“Fuck you, I come first.”
Even when I
And everyone else
Know it’s not true
I wanna be able to act without caring
About the repercussions
The trouble I’d be causing
The pain I’d be inflicting
Just like everyone else in this Godless Earth
This troubled town where the line between
Right and Wrong
Has been drawn so thick and in blood-red ink
Yet the ones who drew it are the ones who cross it
And the ones who cross it are the ones who judge.

I loved and lost
And I lost everything in the process
Including, but not limited to, myself.

© Copyright 7ala Abdullah

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22 thoughts on “Blood-Red

  1. Wooow

    I loved and lost
    And I lost everything in the process
    Including, but not limited to, myself.
    << the best part …

    like it <3

  2. “I’ve tried
    Countless times
    To look
    On the bright side
    But what am I suppose to do
    When they turn off the lights there?
    What am I supposed to do when everything that was once bright
    Turns black and empty?” <333

    I simply love this poem! I think I should always bug you to write more poems. They're really amazing <3

  3. You’re always taking my breath away with your words, but you know that.
    I love this poem for two reasons:
    First, the hurt and angst is tangible. I can almost feel it like broken glass under my fingers, can taste it like bitter blood on my tongue.
    I’ve read it three times, and each time hurts more than the last.
    Secondly, I can relate (obviously) to the exact feelings portrayed, you always know how to describe exactly how you feel so that anyone else reading it can feel the same even if they’ve never experienced it before.
    You could describe sight to the blind…

    As for my favorite part.

    “Just like everyone else in this Godless Earth
    This troubled town where the line between
    Right and Wrong
    Has been drawn so thick and in blood-red ink
    Yet the ones who drew it are the ones who cross it
    And the ones who cross it are the ones who judge.”

    No one has the guts to really say the things you do, they are too ignorant or too scared.
    This, is cold hard truth.
    And it’s ugly, and stained but it’s honest and necessary.

  4. I second Meesh. The best part that I loved was :

    I’ve tried
    Countless times
    To look
    On the bright side
    But what am I suppose to do
    When they turn off the lights there?
    What am I supposed to do when everything that was once bright
    Turns black and empty?”

    Keep it up 7ala!

  5. First the obvious: you are undoubtedly gifted at transcribing your emotional truth on the page, so to speak; your words are honest, and raw and insightful

    Second, you talk about truth and lies- a topic that comes up again and again in everyone’s life- and mine is no exception. I just wanted to point out a quote from TLW (season 1, which you are watching – how convenient ;)!

    – “I’ll tell you about lies. There are white lies and black lies and many shades of grey lies. Some lies are justified. Lies told out of kindness, lies that preserve dignity, lies that spare pain. Everybody’s a liar dear.”
    ((in conversation with Jenny, The L Word season 1))

    Third here’s how I see it: you can lie to protect people, lie to protect yourself professionally, legally or emotionally (save your ass). Then those are the sick people who lie ’cause they can’t help it, lie ’cause they’re pathological and it’s what they do.
    I, however, identify with the first group. And its hard for me cast them us off as bad people because they lie. On the contrary, they are often people with hearts, who display a degree of humility, self-awarness and responsibility.

    • Thank you so much for your kind words. I said it on Twitter and I’ll say it again; you really are a very sweet person, and I appreciate your kindness, it really made my day <3

      Second, the scary thing is that I actually kept rewinding that scene and watching it over and over because I thought it was really beautiful and it kinda stuck with me for a while!

      And yeah, the truth is; we're all big fat liars. We just all lie for different reasons. To be frank, you wouldn't survive in my country if you were completely honest with everyone, you'd have your head chopped off in a matter of seconds. So yeah, I lie. And I lie a lot. But I lie to protect myself, not to hurt anyone else. I lie to protect my friends and my family. I lie only because I have to.

      And again… thank you for leaving a comment. I really really appreciate it :)

  6. HELLOO!! this is earth!!

    Said that just to be involved somehow in this masterpiece :”)) “ridiculously”
    7allo,, YOU ARE SO SO UNIQUE!! god bless u <3

  7. Wow.
    God bless you 7ala :)
    Mashallah your words are flow better than anyone elses’.
    I just found your blog, and i must say, i couldn’t be more impressed:)

  8. My Sweet Talanted Amazing Breathtaking Writter,

    You’ve took me away, so far away with your masterpiece. My favourite part is:

    I’ve tried
    Countless times
    To look
    On the bright side
    But what am I suppose to do
    When they turn off the lights there?

    It’s so so so so so AMAZING. I’m so proud of you baby 7allo ;*****

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