Serendipity

1

You tell me you find god in the
way Sunflowers shift towards
the sun, but I find him in the
way my eyes and hands always
turn to you.

2

It took you twenty-three years to
finally find me and there are days
when I resent you for this.

I’m
sorry.

3

I do not recall any of the versions
of myself that existed before I first met
you.

I do not want to fill in the blanks
in my memory.

4

I have written love-letters to
every single hair on your head,
to every single skin cell on
your body. It is still not enough
to show you what I feel for you.

I know nothing ever will be.

5

In a world where eyes exist,
you say I shouldn’t even have
to speak. But there is so much
I want you to know that I don’t
trust my eyes to tell you.

I want you to know.
I want you to know just how
much of me you’ve healed.

6

You and I, we made religions
out of tasting one another.

(Lover, mercy me.)

7

I want to scream “I love you!”
at the top of my lungs from
each and every one of this
godforsaken city’s rooftops

but instead,
I am writing this
poem.

War

To my former lovers I want to say:

I take it back.

From the
love letters and
the notes scribbled on napkins to
every syllable I have ever uttered,
from the
stolen glances and
the hands held under tables,
to the kisses raw with lust,

this is me officially dissolving

            everything.

Even when my hands
were held to my beating
heart and every
word I spoke dripped with
honesty – know that I
might have thought I
meant it then

but I know
now that my tongue has
been dabbling in dying
dialects of love and has
only tasted its true origin
sixty-six days ago.

So I take it all back.

And to you I will say:

Lover,

I am a warrior.
The natural state of my fists
has always been clenched
and ready. My skin has always
been black and blue with
disenchantment. I am the
soldier and the battleground,

but for sixty-six days now,
there has been no war inside
my chest, no bickering
of the organs –
no head against heart;

I belong
peacefully
to you.

And my hands,

Lover,

my hands are no longer discouraged
hearts held up before my eyes
ready to throw the first punch,

you have grown Sunflower fields
on my lifelines so my arms are
always outstretched and my palms

are always open
searching
for your Light.