For A Muse

If you let me,
I’d kiss your hands
and the insides of
your palms until
my lips are engraved in your
pores, until the taste of
your skin is the first thing
that hits my tongue
every morning.
You don’t need to hold my
hand to your chest again
so I’d feel that rapid
beating threatening
a near explosion.
I can feel it elsewhere.

The fact of the matter is;
you’re beautiful
I’m scared of you.



When we collided,
the pieces of you and me
flooded the ground
we stood on in a way
that left us in awe,
in a way that left us both
so equally

In a way that
left us wondering
how we would tell apart
those beautifully
similar parts.

But you;

my noble savior.

You, with that cape on your back;
you picked all the pieces
off the floor and built me
up in parts of me and you,
brick by brick,
you completed me,
you broke your damn back until
you made me whole,
until I overflowed,
until there was excess,
until you stood there
a mere half,
looking at the you and the me,
inside me,
realizing I’d become taller
than you remembered
and that there
was a certain bitterness,
a strange sense of
loss that comes with
being the hero.

But don’t you know, my sweet?

Heroes don’t live here.
And heroes change their minds.
And heroes can break you
all over again,
just by falling apart before your eyes.


Because there’s yes,
and there’s no, and
then there’s that
hollow place between them where
the lack of an
keeps leaving me distraught,
keeps pointing out
things to me
I’d rather not remember

like how your hair smelled
that day I broke your heart.

I wasn’t always this
confused, you know.
There was a point where
I found comfort
in black
and white,
solace in wrong
and right. But it doesn’t
always work that way,
does it darling?
    I’m in the grey.
Different shade each
and my actions?
All I know is that
I keep swaying back
and forth between
what the devil whispers
into my ears
and what lies inside
my skull, but I’m reaching a point
where both entities are starting
to agree with one another.

And I will beg of you to go
the more I need you to stay,
because I’m trying not
to need so much.