Smelling Smiles

I was right! This blog did break my block! I’ve had this idea for a story for months now, but I never got around to writing it because I was too busy with another story I’m working on. It came to my mind today, so I decided to write it down. And here it is.

Finally!


I saw him again today.

He looked just the same; black, tall, heavy… faceless. And again, he just stood there. There were no features on his face, but I could almost swear he was smiling. It was as though I could… smell his smile. He, on the other hand, didn’t need to “smell” my fear. He could see it from the way my eyes grew wide and from how fast I clutched to my bed sheets and tried to move away from that side of the bed.

I tried to speak. “What do you want??” I whispered, my voice shaky and my tiny lips quivering. He moved his head closer and I let out a quiet squeal. I felt hot tears stinging my eyes. I almost expected him to answer, but of course he just stood quietly. He moved closer so that he nearly touched my face.

Then he smiled again. A smile without a face, a smile without lips. A smile I have no clue how I detected, or if I was even right about. This isn’t happening. Ghosts don’t exist. Faceless, expressionless creatures don’t exist.

I couldn’t take it any more. I closed my eyes and opened them again, wishing he would disappear, but when I opened them, he was still there. Standing – almost towering – over me, shadowing me with fear, erasing every inch of courage I was ever proud of, plucking every last bit of self-control. I felt my knees go weak and breath go short. I whispered, “Please…” through my teeth, and he put his hands on mine. He pushed them down with such strength that I thought my fingers would not only break, but get completely crushed.

I sobbed in pain, “Please… please let me go.” And he immediately pulled them away. “Please go away, please, please!” I cried. And he did.

I tried to wake myself up, even though I was breaking down. This was all a dream, of course! I have to wake up. I have to wake up.

Why can’t I wake up?

© Copyright 7ala Abdullah

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Keep On Building

I built these walls around my heart
When I couldn’t stand how much you were tearing it apart
I couldn’t see the flaws in this plan, I didn’t think it through
I didn’t know it meant losing everyone else to be protected from you

I built this armour around my body
When your simple touch began to hurt me badly
I can’t take it off now, and I can’t even begin
To describe how painful it is not being able to let anyone in

I built these sheilds against my eyes
When I couldn’t stand to see you see me in this disguise
And now I can’t see beauty, I can’t see the sky
And it’s all because I couldn’t stand to see you smile

I built a new lock on my bedroom door
When nothing could stop me from getting to you anymore
I locked it twice and swallowed the key
When I thought you didn’t want anything more to do with me

I keep on building, but it’s hurting still
The more I do it, the more it’s against my will
I’ve managed to shut you out, that much is true
But now I look around, and it’s not only you

You’re the sole purpose of my isolation
Yet you’re still vividly alive in my imagination
In pursuit of ridding myself of you
I seem to have driven everyone else away from me, too.

© Copyright 7ala Abdullah

Hello/ Hola/ Hala Walla/ Ciao/ Salut/ Hej/ Halo/ Ahoj, etc..

You know when you wake up in the morning with a thought in your head that won’t go away? This is how this blog happened.

I woke up today with just one lingering, persistent though. “Make a fucking blog”. Why? I have no idea. I’ve always been, in a way, anti-blogging. And here I am, hypocritical as I am, with my own blog. Damn, this is the same thing that happened with Facebook. I don’t know what’s going on in my tiny little brain these days.

I think it’s got something to do with my month-old writer’s block. Maybe this is my mind’s way of getting me back on track? I do hope it works.

Anyways, I do hope you enjoy this blog of mine. I will be posting my writings shortly, and I do hope to get some feedback from all of you.

Peace out.