I don’t feel it anymore.
There’s no sense of belonging like there was before.

I no longer have the energy to mourn;
What is dead and has long been gone.

I don’t mind it like I used to;
The loneliness and the lack of virtue.

I no longer have it in me to feel,
That blessed curse has lost its appeal.

I don’t experience common emotions;
Regret, righteousness, and devotion.

I no longer miss their presence,
Their absence has proved to be a blessing.

© Copyright 7ala Abdullah

There is no beauty in the struggle
And no pleasure in the pain
Just pain and struggle
And suffering
When it hurts, no amount
Of wise words will make it heal
When it kills, no amount
Of daydreaming will make it unreal
And when you fall,
Only then will you find out you’re on your own
Because when you’re standing tall
Your pride blinds you to the reality that you’re alone.

There is no light at the end of tunnels
And no silver lining to any cloud
Just a cloud and a tunnel
And a silent crowd
Because when you’re lost, you will find
That there’s no one to guide you to safety
And when you’re scared, you will find
That there’s no one to lead you back to sanity
Because the crowd that around you stood
Through the good and happy times
Come bad days,
Disappeared fast like the snow in summertime.

There’s no truth to the belief that
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”
Because once you reach that point
All you would want is for it to be over
Because when you’re so close to death
And you feel it in your bones
You stop wondering
When all the pain will be gone
And when you’re standing all alone,
Hand shaking over your heart
Organs bleeding on their own
You’ll wish that what didn’t make you stronger will finally kill you.

© Copyright 7ala Abdullah

I see heaven in the littlest things
Long, warm hugs and paper rings
Comically shaped clouds and rainy skies
A warm cup of Chamomile and beautiful brown eyes.

I see heaven in the littlest things
Stolen glances and the end of worrying
Inside jokes and perfect hair days
That lingering smell you’d wished would stay.

I see heaven in the littlest things
Surprise kisses and the joy they bring
Endless laughs and chips and dip
Unexpected phone calls and well-scarred lips.

I see heaven in the littlest things
Fiona Apple’s music and fruity drinks
Writing for no other reason than to see you smile
Hearing you say yes when I ask you to say for a while.

I see heaven in the littlest things
Manicured hands and hilarious films
A bowl of ice cream and not having to count any sheep
Finishing this poem and getting some sleep.

© Copyright 7ala Abdullah